


And we are far, far from home but we're so happy

by puppybusby



Series: Teen Wolf Femslash week [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison Lives, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Future Fic, Temporary Character Death, cameos from other characters - Freeform, canon compliant to 3x23, lydia centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppybusby/pseuds/puppybusby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Allison, what would you say to your fifteen year old self?”<br/>“Hm...” Allison shifts slightly to wrap her arms around Lydia's shoulders. “I think I would say.... 'Beacon Hills, it'll sound dumb, but it's where you'll find yourself and your family. You'll feel loss and grief but you'll grow. Beacon Hills is where you meet your closest friends, your first love and your true love.'”</p>
            </blockquote>





	And we are far, far from home but we're so happy

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "From Finner" By Of Monsters and Men

 

 

Lydia often wonders what she would say to her fifteen year old self, she thinks about it when they hit a block in their research on the newest threat to town, muses it idly as she waits in line to order their coffee, lets it fill her thoughts on the rare nights when the steady breaths from sleeping figure curled against her isn't enough to lull her to sleep.

 

 _Don't hide your intelligence._  
  
She translates archaic Latin from a dusty old scroll Allison and Stiles found on their latest adventures, time and time again Lydia's vast knowledge has saved the pack from death, it's part of who she is and it took Allison and the others to make her see that.  
  
At their home, there's an entire room dedicated to books, just for her and she doesn't feel the need to hide them, she shows them with pride and when she gets a new book as a gift, she's thankful.  
  
  
  
_It's okay to be scared.  
_

For so long, she tried to hide it, she remembers covering up the bags under her eyes from the night Peter ran past her at the video store, how she pretended that the looks and the way people whispered about her after his attack didn't hurt her. She remembered long sleepless nights as she listened to her parents fight and begged to whatever God there was to please, please don't let them divorce, not now, not during her own hell. They divorced anyway, her father wasn't around while Peter invaded her mind.  
  
Even now, it feels silly to admit that she's scared but now it's for wholly different reasons. They've all seen and been through so much, over the years they've all felt loss, be it pack or family yet Lydia will still get scared, there will always be the fear of the unknown and the knowledge that one day someone might not come back alive and more often than not she worries for Allison, sends an extra prayer out when she watches the huntress walk out of the door, whispers an extra protection charm, kisses and hugs her harder.  
  
They all get scared though, and it's taken them this long to be able to admit it openly to each other.  
  
Allison said that fear is good, fear is human. Derek nodded his agreement and after that... It just got easier.  
  
  
  
_There's more to life than appearances._

Lydia remembered when her worries amounted to not having the right shade of lipstick to match her outfit of the day, that Jackson's outfit clashed too much with her own. She remembered the satisfaction of feeling boys watch the sway of her hips as she walked and the jealous sneers of girls who wanted to be like her.  
  
This thought comes to Lydia ironically, as they drive back to Beacon Hills after spending the last three days tracking a rogue omega responsible for the deaths of a bunch of hitch-hikers. They're all exhausted, hungry and aching, none of them have showered and Scott's shirt was basically torn in half. Her make-up is long gone, her hair is in a messy bun and her clothes are creased beyond belief.  
  
She knows that she wouldn't have let anybody see her like this and that her fifteen year old self would probably have an aneurysm over it, but now? Now Lydia just rolls her eyes at the joke Stiles said and turns her aching body, rests her head against Allison's shoulder and closes her eyes, they've all seen each other at their bests and at their worst, Allison's seen her break and has been there to put her back together again.

  
  
  
_She forgives you for it._

It took her so long to admit it to Allison, just how guilty she felt after she kisses Scott. Even now, she can't remember why she did it but she does remember feeling pleased with herself for five whole minutes as she fixed her lip gloss and walked down the hallway. She still remembers the way that feeling shattered and filled her with guilt, suffocating and consuming her as she saw Allison's sweet smile.  
  
Even though Allison had forgiven her quickly, it didn't feel entirely real and Allison admitted almost a year later that she hadn't, that there was a part of her that wasn't willing to let it go, when Lydia had asked her when Allison had fully forgiven her, Allison had shrugged.

“I just wasn't.” She had said, eyes sparkling under the stars.  
__  
  
  
He loves you and you love him, even if neither of you show it.  
  
For so long she had tried to play it off, deny her feelings to herself, sure, Jackson had started out as a convenience, he was popular, attractive and decent enough in bed. She couldn't pinpoint when she had fallen in love with him, but she had. He was her first love and he will always have a place in her heart. __  
  
  
  
He will leave you. It'll hurt, but you'll be stronger from it.  
  
When Jackson left, Allison had left too, she hurt from both of their departures (it had taken her longer to understand why Allison leaving had hurt so much) She was angry at Jackson for so long, had filled the space he left behind by throwing herself into pack business and casual sex.  
  
Now, he visits often, he has his own pack, his own life back in London, but he'll still come home and he'll hug her like he used to but now, she feels only comfort, a distant memory of the love she once felt, a new love burns stronger and brighter under her skin and he knows that now, he sees it In her eyes when she seeks out Allison. He teases her about it but it's all in good fun.  
  
She's glad that he broke her heart and he understands when she thanks him for it.

  
  
_Stiles is one of the closest friends you will ever have._  
  
Her fifteen year old self would scoff at this, the boy with the buzz cut and the moles and the creepy obsession being her friend? Willingly? In another lifetime.   
  
But he's been by her side in ways she never would have thought possible. They were tethered, connected but when the time came, when he finally knew that he had to let go, he did. Lydia was connected to somebody else but she couldn't act on it, she couldn't fix it until he let her go. She's thankful he did, for so many reasons. 

He was the one who helped her work through her feelings for Allison, he helped her when others couldn't, wouldn't. He had seen the grief in her eyes and had known that she wouldn't stop so he had pledged to help, grieving in his own way.  
  
Allison wouldn't be alive without his help.

 

_  
There will be times when it all seems hopeless, keep going._

After Peter, she felt weak and alone and terrified.  
  
After everything with Jackson she was terrified about what else was out there.

After the alpha pack, after Jennifer Blake tried to kill her... Lydia was sure it couldn't get worse.  
  
But then the Nogitsune showed up, the Oni came and they took Allison away and it just... Nothing really mattered any more. She didn't care, not for so long, they took Allison from her and Allison had never really been hers to begin with and there were days where she just didn’t want to get out of bed, where it felt like the light had been sucked from her world.  
  
  
But her pack wouldn't let her stop.

 

_  
You're not alone._

When Allison had died, she lost her best friend, her love. It wasn't until Stiles had dragged her out and to the library where he had promptly piled books in front of her did she ask what he was doing.  
  
“We're bringing her back.” He declared.  
  
“We?”  
  
He smiled, albeit sadly. “You didn't think you were alone, did you?”  


Days and nights exhausting every ounce of information Stiles had at his disposal.  
  
Derek seeing their efforts and bringing everything he had to offer, turning his loft into a base of operations.  
  
Kira bringing Lydia to her mother.  
  
Scott and even Malia provided morale support when they could. Scott was a shoulder to cry on in the dark of nights when his own grief grew too strong.  
  
Derek's firm but emotional declaration of “We'll bring her back.”  


They all missed her too and Lydia will forever be thankful that they didn't let her push them away.  
  
Stiles severed his connection with Lydia so that she could bring Allison back and they were all together when Allison took her first breath. They all stood as Lydia pulled Allison into a bone crushing hug and they all, slowly but surely, joined the embrace.  
  
Lydia was never really alone, she just had to let her walls be broken down enough so that she could see that.

 

 

_They love you._

Lydia came from a broken family, a mother who doesn't care enough and a father who may as well never exist.  
  
She made her own family, a pack, people she would live and die for and she knows they would do the same for her. She wouldn't have thought it possible to find so many people who care about her so much, people who are willing to fight and cry and bleed and kill and revive. But here she is.  
  
She has Scott, who she's watched grow from a boy to a man, a nobody to a leader and she follows him wherever he will go. He will protect his pack and she knows that.  
  
She has Kira, who makes her laugh and takes care of Allison when they fight side by side (not that Allison needs protecting by any means, but it comforts her)  
  
Malia and Liam who she still treats like the babies of the group.

Derek who has never been open in his love, in any of his feelings really, smiles more now, has connected with Allison thanks to their mutually tragic family histories. They're not Hale versus Argent now, they're Allison and Derek and Lydia lives for the days where she'll find them in the kitchen, laughing as dinner cooks (Derek is a spectacular cook, who knew)  
  
Stiles, who is always looking for new ways to protect the pack, stronger wards and spells.  
  
Allison.

 

_  
She loves you._

“What are you thinking about?” Allison asked quietly, setting a mug down and resting her chin on Lydia's shoulder, Lydia closed her eyes and leant back against Allison.

“Allison, what would you say to your fifteen year old self?”  
  
“Hm...” Allison shifts slightly to wrap her arms around Lydia's shoulders. “I think I would say.... 'Beacon Hills, it'll sound dumb, but it's where you'll find yourself and your family. You'll feel loss and grief but you'll grow. Beacon Hills is where you meet your closest friends, your first love and your true love.'”  
  
Lydia tilted her head to kiss Allison.“I like that.”

“Why are you asking?” Allison asked.  
  
“I've been thinking, about what I would say to the girl you met back then.”

“Why?”

Lydia shrugged. “I've just changed so much.”  
  
“You have.” Allison agreed. “I loved you at fifteen and I love you at twenty five.” Allison pulled away and moved to sit in front of her, pulling Lydia's legs into her lap. “The girl I met that day would be amazed at everything you've done, you should be proud.”  
  
“I am.” Lydia replied. “God, I really am.”  
  
Allison grinned again, leaning forward to kiss her softly, reaching up to cup Lydia's cheek.  
  
“Hey Lydia?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Marry me?”  
  
Lydia blinked at her and pulled away. “W-What?”  
  
Allison blushed as she leant back, rubbing the back of her neck. “Marry me?” She asked again.  
  
It was spontaneous, clearly, Allison looked surprised that she had said it, Lydia didn't even know if she had a ring. It was just so very Allison.  
  
“Yeah.” Lydia laughed. “Yeah I'll marry you.”  
  
Allison beamed as she moved back in for another kiss, laughing against Lydia's lips and cradling her close.  
  
The moment was interrupted by Allison's phone ringing and neither of them held back their groan. Allison grabbed the phone and answered it quickly.  
  
“This had better be good Stiles-” Allison frowned. “Mexico?I- shit, yeah, yeah we'll be ready in ten.” She hung up and sighed.  
  
“Duty calls?” Lydia asked.  
  
“Duty calls.” Allison nodded. She leant in for a kiss. “Pack a bag.”  


 

_It's an adventure._

They slip into the back seat of Stiles' Jeep, Stiles immediately launched into a speech about the demon that had risen, the fact that Braeden called for backup. Lydia can't even be mad that their moment got interrupted, she's just too happy, maybe later she'll punch Stiles and Allison will definitely be taking out any annoyance she feels on the demon.  
  
“You're both happy.” Malia frowns.  
  
Allison got an arm around Lydia and pressed her lips to Lydia's temple. “It's a good day.” She said.  
  
Stiles looked between them and settled on Allison. “You asked her didn't you?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He let go of the steering wheel to clap slowly. Lydia rolled her eyes.  
  
“Shut up and drive, I want to see this demon.”  
  


_  
You're happy._

It's a dive of a motel, the water doesn't work, Allison had to coax a lizard out from under their bed and the heat is blistering hot. It's the first time they've been able to relax since they left Beacon Hills, the threat is gone and they can finally relax.  
  
Allison's arms are bracketing her face as she leans down to kiss her. When she breaks away Lydia sits up as Allison moves off of her and to her bag, rummaging through it and returning with a small ring, a simple silver band.

“Sorry it took so long.” She sad as she held it up.  
  
Lydia let Allison push the ring onto her finger, she observed it for a moment before leaning forward to press their lips together again, wrapping her arms around Allison's neck to hold her close. “I love you Allison.” She whispered.  
  
“I love you too, Lydia.”

 

Allison falls asleep a few hours later, snoring quietly against her collarbone, Lydia runs her fingers through Allison's hair, smiling as Allison's arms tighten around her waist.  
  
Honestly, if there was only one thing she could say to her fifteen year old self? She knows what it would be.  
  
She turns her head to press her lips to Allison's forehead.  
  
  
  
  
_You're going to be okay._

 


End file.
